I Need To Find My Way Back To The Start

 June 12, 2011 (4:38 A.M.)

I'm currently listening to a song titled "Into Your Arms" by The Maine. I keep on listening to it over and over again, I don't know why.

Too early for me to write a blog huh? Well, I can't really sleep. I have been like this for days now. I don't sleep and eat much. Somehow I just got tired of eating. I only eat when I'm really hungry. Anyway, good morning! :) It's still dark here, but I bet the sun is about to come out anytime soon. And listening to a favorite song of mine while it comes out is just the perfect thing for me. Maybe I'll go outside later and say hi to the waking sun while I'm still listening to the same song.

I just realized that I have been awake ever since I have been trying to sleep hours ago. I have been thinking of something I have been trying to forget. For the record, I keep on saying to myself that I have already moved on about it and that I am now focused on where I am and what I am trying to pursue. I easily get nostalgic and remember every single memory like screenshots from a movie. People may see me smile a lot but if they can read my mind, my inner self wanted to cry.

If you reader, are getting curious of what kind of memory this is, you'll find out soon enough. Someday I'll have the guts to write everything---through fiction. For now all I could write about the memory is the set of fingerprints that it has left in my mind and in my heart.

I suddenly looked at the window. The sun is coming out. Another day to spend. I have a whole day ahead of me to try and forget everything again. Oh dear, if only I could just go to Corregidor today. It's the haven where I could clear my mind from everything. It's such a beautiful place. In spite of its tragic history in the Second World War with the dead bodies of Japanese, Filipino, and American soldiers, I still love everything about it. The best part of the trip would be the one when we turned off all our flashlights after we got out of Malinta Tunnel at night and just saw so many stars in a clear and cloudless sky. It's one of the best experiences that I have ever had.

The second would be watching the sunset overlooking the sea with the cannons and the ruins beside you. The third would be watching the sunrise with the wind blowing towards your face, making you want to fly to the sun and embrace it.

So how is this related to the real topic of this blog? I have reasons in putting those in order. Like the starry cloudless sky first mentioned, that's how special and wonderful the memory is to me. Its beauty and rarity could never be forgotten. Forgetting it would be like throwing precious diamonds in the trash bin. About the second one, the sunset for me would be the times when I try to go back to the scene with the stars. With me as the sunset, I try to replay or go back to that scene, forgetting that the bight that I am about to enter in would be different now from the one that I am expecting to see.

The last would be the sunrise. The sunrise for me would be the voice that whispers to my ear everytime I try to go back to the starry sky again. It reminds me to face the rising sun rather than what has already happened. I need to get back on my feet and walk forward.


The clear starry sky. It has a special place in my heart that will never make me forget how wonderful it was. But I cannot dwell in the past. God wants me to enjoy more sunrises than sunsets, just like what I had seen awhile ago.

A Moment With Gerald Anderson. :))

Well, it's not really a real moment, all I did was I joined this promo from a product that features him as the endorser. I did not know that they would make a video with my picture pasted on it.

My Mom, Jobelle, and I laughed our wits out as we watch it again and again. :))

Well, I can't really imagine myself in a commercial with that handsome guy. Haha. At least I tried my best to appreciate how I would look like if I ever get to be seen on TV with him. :)

So, there. Just watch the video that I recorded and I hope you guys will like it. :)

We Can't Live Without Music In Our Hearts

Music. The only thing on this earth that I, and my very important group of friends can't live without. Second to God. We, as a young group of individuals who share the same passion, dream of becoming the best that we can be in the field. We want to do it for God, because He was the one who gave the talent to us.

I just want to share to all of you readers today the recent experience that we had when we played together as a violin ensemble on a recital last June 3rd. We hardly prepared for it much. We only started practicing the day before the event. I myself never had any interest in playing with the girls on the said day, I was making excuses just to get out of what I thought would just look stupid in front of those who would watch. I was the eldest in the group, and I am still not as good as my brother who plays beautifully with his violin. If you are asking why? Well, I was a crazy kid before. I tried to learn things then I just stop learning it in the middle of the process. I tried playing the piano at first, then seeing my brother excel at what he was doing, I suddenly broke the piano's heart and tried to fall in love with the violin.

I was 11 when I started learning the said instrument. But it just turned out the same, stopping in the middle of what I could excel in. I only focused on studying my academic subjects for a while, then when I got to high school, and my mother started the music ministry that we are doing ever since that time, I started playing the instrument once again.

Presently, the new batch of our music students, my girls. My best friends, my sisters, they were also the ones who are helping me love what I have decided to pursue in the future. God has placed them in my life to let me know what I really want. And that is to make music until the day the Lord takes me home. Truly, when someone starts a fire, the fire of passion for something worth spending the rest of your life with, like music, it spreads like an epidemic. The fever will never stop. The Nabi girls, yes, that is our name when we play in churches and special events, they did that to me.


So back to the recital. I decided to play with them the last minute. Thinking that it would also be a great experience for me, even though I might look too old to play as a violin beginner. I memorized the piece that we are going to play for two hours and polished it up all day. And when the day came, it was a marvelous experience. Seeing also that it was the girls' first time to play in an auditorium in a state university's College of Music, I promised myself from then on that I will always play with them wherever we go. These girls were not like those who have rich parents. They were girls who lived simple lives not knowing at first that God had a very wonderful plan for them, with a promise of raising them up to become people who would be used by Him for His glory alone.


I just knew it when we were already walking outside the hall with our heels and dresses, with no car and will only ride a public jeepney home, that these girls have been given hope to become someone they never thought that they could be in the future. And I know that it's not impossible for that to happen in their lives.

For Shyl, Jeremie, Jade, Jobelle and Christina: May you have a blessed life ahead of you, continuing to live in the purpose of God working in your hearts.
For Mama: You have been a shining light used by God to work wonders in all of us. I know that you will have a life full of hope and joy so much more than you could ever imagine.
For my Kuya Benj: My Kuya Benj, I sometimes treat you as our Dad when things fail. Thanks for the joy and the love that you shared with me. :) May God send you out to different places that you have never dreamed of going before.

And as for you dear reader, I am only sharing a very small percent of my real life. May you keep on reading these entries and be inspired by what you see here. May God bless you. :)

Waterproof College Students

Early this morning the radio announced: Classes suspended today for all elementary and high school levels, according to the Department of Education. Wow. Lucky little children.

I was waiting for news from the Commission on Higher Education (CHED) of additional suspension for college people like me. I only had four hours of sleep.  The water was ice cold when I took a bath. I was too lazy to heat water and was too groggy to even think about doing so. So I was sitting on a chair shaking involuntarily and anticipating the news that I had been hoping to hear. But then, no news for us. Not even one.

I called up my school to check and see if they decided to cancel classes upon "parental discretion". The man on the other line said that I should call again some time later for updates from the registrar or someone else associated at the office. Maybe he was a janitor or something. And maybe there was nobody there yet who can help me know about the suspension issue.

I did that three and a half hours ago. So let's see. I haven't called back again--see how lazy I am today. Maybe they do have classes today. If they do, then my first class for the day would be going on right now. I am a bit relaxed and worried at the same time. There is a part of me that wants to go to school and catch up on my only subject for the day and there is also a part of me that wants to stay home and recover a little bit more from my insect bites. I am telling you, they are terrible insect bites. It irritates me really, seeing my legs--my once white and not-that-flawless-legs but still-pretty-innocent-legs turn into something like polka-dotted underwear. Those bites came from the cats. It's not that the cats were the ones who bit me but rather it was the insects who live in the fur of the cats who bit me. Ticks? Is that what they call them?


Anyways, back to the original topic. After I called up my school to ask about the possibility of our classes being suspended, I went straight to this laptop and went online. Of course, the first site that I would always visit would be Facebook. The News Feed always interested me, seeing the status messages of my friends. So related to the situation, some of my former classmates at my former school complained about not suspending classes for us college students. One friend of mine wrote:

"Wait, high school, elementary, and pre-school students got their classes suspended due to the [heavy rains]. So does everyone think that we college students are freakin' waterproof or something?"

For me, he has a point. Like the high school students, we also commute and experience the driving rain. We are not like human umbrellas. And our campuses are most of the time larger and more prone to floods, like those located within the university belt in Manila. So we have the greater right not to attend classes than they do.

But then, we have nothing to do and we have nothing to complain about. So I believe that guy I've quoted (my former classmate and constant sarcasm lover) must have gone to school still. And me? Well, I'm here at home, trying to regain my healthy skin back little by little. I also stayed at home due to Mom's orders.

Rain or no rain, I'm still going to stay home. That's what she said.  ^_^

This Fine Life: A Novel

So, What Now?

        All I hear right now is the sound of the tricycles outside. Hmm. So far, I have nothing to do. I'm right here, alone in this living room typing away random thoughts from my head.

        Why does this night have to be so boring? I have been trying to quench my boredom through browsing on Facebook but apparently it did not totally help keep away my boredom in the moment.Well well, let's see, what do we have here? Oh, I know. Let's stare right at each other and wait for the first one to laugh. Naah. That will not do. Oh wait.
         There. I've turned my iTunes on. Now playing: Aubrey by Bread, my favorite song.Somehow it helped me be entertained at this very moment, but there's still this little percent of boredom sitting beside me.
     
          Hmm. Let's see. What to write? About me? Well, I can't tell too many things about myself here. And if I really want to do that, I would have written many things about myself already at the start of this blog. My world apparently has been in sudden silence after my girlfriends left after their one night stay here at home. Those girls make me crazy most of the time, but yeah. They're my girls! :D I don't know what to do anything else in this world without them. You see, that's how I value my friends. I don't want them to be too far away from me. My friends have been there for me through thick of thin. They never left my side. Though I have had friends who were my friends, if you are getting the picture. I trusted them, treated them well, yet they treated me back in the way that they shouldn't have. But there, once I have learned what they are doing to me behind my back, I just let them go. Meaning, if they don't want to be friends with me, fine. I'll go my way, and you go yours.
           Hmm. Now that was something to write about! :) Haha. Next topic.

           I'm currently excited about transferring to another school. :) This coming school year, I promise myself to not to slack off in my studies. Haha. I sort of did that last school year.
           So there. I guess that's a good start for my first blog. :) Gonna post this now! :D